Hath No Fury

New Buffy Movie… Without Whedon?

Apparently there’s some talk going on about making a Buffy film outside of the continuity established by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television show. Picked up by Aint It Cool News, there’s a (pretty obvious) prediction that Whedonites will become quite vocally displeased if the movie becomes a serious thing. Just looking at the comments is a sign of that.

It is also a sign of just why I hate Whedonites.

“Oh FUCK no. Don’t they even DARE try to do this. Why the hell would they even attempt to do Buffy the Vampire Slayer without Joss Whedon? I can’t fathom this at all. What a bunch of dicks. Be damned if I watch it without any Buffy people being involved. Gosh damn Twilight and shit like that is what did this.” - ParagonComplex

Everything Whedon touches is not transformed into gold by association (as Dollhouse more than adequately proves), and the ground he walks is not sacred. I usually like more of his stuff than I dislike, and I’m a fan of the BtVS franchise. But what’s wrong with a fresh look on things? What’s the worst that could possibly happen?

That it’ll be bad? Let’s not even dwell on the fact that BTVS was as hooked on “look how tongue in cheek we are!”-camp as a teenage cokehead doing lines in a dirty highschool bathroom. Who cares if it’s bad?

Anybody that liked BtVS will realize that it doesn’t have any relevancy to the show. And it’s not exactly like it’s going to be a blow to franchise that’s been off the air for half a decade! For that matter, what if it’s not bad?

What if it’s a great way to revive good vampire stories?

Everyone is so quick to sniffle and mewl that “Oh God look what Twilight is doooing to everything!” that they can’t look over the pile of used tissues and see that hey, maybe some folks are trying. If a new wave of interest in paranormal movies and shows rides in on Twilight’s back, then that’ll be the best thing the otherwise unstomachably-awful franchise has done.

But no. The guys at AintItCool.com are painfully correct in assessing the resistance that will come from rabid Whedon fans. In a storm of screechy harpy bitchfitting, these mal-adjusted, chronic crybabies stand ready to “defend” the Most Heavenly Joss and all His Inspired Creations.

What’s more funny is that none of the fans seem to accurately remember just what Buffy the Vampire Slayer was, for most shows in the series’ lifetime. It was a big, gassy, generally overdramatic, often cheesy experiment. It was something that hadn’t been done on TV before, and it showed its growing pains right up to the end. It had some spectacular moments and arcs, but it wasn’t something that ever could have been made without a little chance.

Or a big chance. Look at the first movie. The best part, though, is that there is no harm (to the Buffy universe, at least, I’m sure producers would feel otherwise) in taking that chance. With the all the potential there could be in an endeavor like this, there’s no risk to the fandom involved at all.

For a group of folks that tend to pride themselves on being open-minded (probably so that they can better fill their soft brainmeats with more of Whedon’s Divine Word), Whedonites turn into particularly nasty little buggers when it comes to stifling their knee-jerk reactions and the ragey pissing and moaning that follows.

…Gosh damn it.